Run For Your Life
On Sunday September 21, 2025 I did something I had never done before. I ran a 10K. "Oh great, please tell us about how you are a runner”.
I wouldn’t classify myself a runner and I promise not to share my routes and times with you on Strava. I barely care about any of that. I don't even have an app. I will say this though… it’s good for my brain.
I was sad. I was stuck. Separation. Divorce. Waking up in an apartment. Cliché type stuff and I am not asking for sympathy, I just want to say how I survived. Mental Health. Men. This is not a new conversation and I am not special, but for the sake of transparency and hopefully helping someone else… please go outside.
I was fortunate. Privileged, if you will, to live close to the Vedder River. Self-Employment and Gig-Life means I can afford to waste time kicking rocks and talking to myself. Turns out fresh air and sunshine is also good for you. NOTE: a rainy day is almost just as good, so never throw shade at precipitation.
Then, one day "for no particular reason, I decided to go for a run." (Name the movie!) I got my heart rate up and started talking to myself with positive words. I found that it was easy to slide into a negative spiral and thanks to some good chats with my paid friend (therapy is also recommended) I learned the importance of saying NOT-negative things. to myself. Dr. Kirk (not captain) also reminded me to breathe (I do actually forget sometimes). So, as I ran, I found a series of words that helped me focus on what was good and helped me pass the time of this otherwise terrible activity.
1. Life - Today is a new day. Still here. What didn’t kill me, didn’t kill me.
2. Living - It’s one thing to be alive, but life requires action. Saying "LIVING", while also feeling the initial aches of a run is a fantastic example of mind over matter. It’s reminding me that even though what I am doing is hard, it is good and human and helpful.
Love - Love IS living. Human connection. Being kind. Helping others. I found a new depth and vulnerability with my sisters and parents through personal struggle. In spite of my family looking different, I found new ways to be intentional. I even lucked out with a wonderful British gal... you might say she colonized my heart.
Beauty - She is. And do is the sky and the water and the trees. And so is waking up with hope and a clear mind.
Nature - Perhaps this is redundant but it encapsulates the living. Nature emphasizes the oneness I have to my fellow humans and my responsibility to care for and honor ALL; including the natural resources I am enjoying and witnessing as I pant heavily along the path, longing for death.
Play - Life is too short to be miserable. Remember when you were a kid? Hopefully it was happy. It wasn’t always for me either, but I learned to laugh. To make believe. To joke around. GAMES! Can’t all be serious. And lucky for me, so much of my work is creative and fun! I don't take that for granted.
Opportunity - I initially used "work" in this spot, but I have edited over time, because work can have a negative connotation… for me anyway. "Work" can be obligation that we think keeps us from the good stuff. "UGH, I have to go to work..." By saying OPPORTUNITY, I signal gratitude for the chance to earn a wage, connect with others and have a positive impact.
Movement - Exercise. Yes. But also movement is chipping away at being a better version of yourself. Advance in your skills, grow deeper in your relationships, take the healthy risks you know you ought to. Take steps. Your pace. Keep going.
Rest - As much as we need to get our heart rates up, we must let them drop as well. Take a nap!
Peace - I’ve learned that there is no greater pursuit. Resolve conflicts. Offer grace. No regrets.
Thank you - Gratitude is the best medicine for misery.
Thank you - Everything above encompasses gratitude, so it deserves repeating.
Thank you - Why 3 times? Why not, you ungrateful…
I eventually set a goal of running 5K. Like I said, I didn’t care much about that. But also, in the back of my head I was aware for the many months I was going for my regular jogs, I wasn’t hitting that mark. I consistently let me legs and my lungs dictate my end and never made it much past 3 or 4. I felt compelled to push, but had plateaud.
Then one day, I bumped into a friend on the trail. Matt Gibson. Our daughter’s had been soccer team mates. Matt came to my birthday. Matt came to shows. Matt had helped me move when I went from family home to apartment living. When I said “Hey Matt, if you ever want someone to run with, I'd be happy to slow you down." Matt said yes.
Our first outing… 6K. My solo self talks evolved into conversations and connection and challenge and well, meaningful friendship. It wasn’t long til he said, let’s do a 10K. And we did.
Our next goal was a half marathon. We signed up for the BMO in May of 2026. In preparation, we increased our distances. I was up to 16K when my body said, "NAH". We had gotten ambitious and added running a local HILL to our training and both of us ended up with hip injuries that sidelined us. Sore hips? That's old guy stuff. Sucked. Even with Rehab and Physio we couldn't get into running form in time and we had to defer. We continued with meeting for coffee, though. And on my own, I was able to maintain regular exercise with weights and stretching. Was I getting healthy and healing? Inside AND out? Wow. I mean that. I really do.
Thankfully, we are both healthy again and working our way back to giving the BMO Half a whirl in May 2027.
Wether it happens for me or not, I have found something that helps my mind and body. An activity. A friend. POSITIVE WORDS. A healthy perspective. All good things. Go outside. I'll see you there.